A much-needed update

I haven't updated in forever. Sorry.

Well, I guess the biggest thing that's going on with me is that I'm no longer in grad school. It ended up kind of sucking, actually. I ultimately left with a Masters (still pending...), but I think I made a good choice in that matter. I have my life back now, and to be honest I don't think I was really into the whole "work-in-the-lab-for-the-rest-of-my-life" thing. I think I would miss being around people too much, and I'm not exactly the type of person for that kind of field (aka a person not possessing a narcissistic cut-throat-type personality).

So, like so many people these days I'm on the hunt for a job. I have a pretty promising interview this Friday for a substitute teaching position at a community college near Lincoln Park. Apparently there's a chemistry instructor about to go on maternity leave in October. I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one. The salary seems to be pretty good, but I won't exactly be making the big bucks. I really love teaching though.

In the meantime, going from working 80 hrs/week to 0 hrs/week has been a bit challenging. Itchy, I guess, is the best adjective for it. I wish I had something to occupy my time with other than worrying. It's driving me nuts.

This is going to sound kind of cryptic, but I sometimes wonder if I'm living my life the wrong way. Viewing my life the wrong way would be a better way to put it, actually. I've spent a lot of years thinking that I shouldn't do certain things, and so now I think I can't do things. I often wonder if I was never as open-minded as I believed I was. For example, things like smoking pot scare the hell out of me. I honestly don't think I'll ever understand it. However, I don't understand it and won't understand it are two different things. Am I being stuck up or wise? I don't know anymore.

What I do know is that after battling my way through grad school, I'll never allow myself to run away from my problems without keeping both my feet planted in reality. I've never fought for anything more than getting my Masters. When I couldn't fight for myself my friends, family, and boyfriend fought with me. It's hard for me to say things, but I'm proud of myself for what I accomplished. So maybe I'm not viewing my life the wrong way, but just living it faster than I'm figuring it out. Does that make sense? I know the terms of the path but not the direction. Yep. Glad I figured that out :-)

Keeping my fingers crossed for that interview.....